One Easy Step to Being a Kind Visitor

My mom was giving directions to her grandson Daniel who was on his way to visit for the first time in her new home.

"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?”

"What...you coming empty handed?"

(adapted from https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3lsngq/the_jewish_elbow/)

It is nice to open the front door and welcome guests bearing gifts, isn't it? Perhaps they’ve brought wine, or flowers, or a culinary creation for the upcoming meal, or maybe best of all, they have chocolates that they don’t expect you to share.

No, wait – best of all is when visitors come bearing food PERIOD.

I'm talking about those kind friends, family, and neighbours who genuinely want to offer their support when you’re recovering from some sort of  brutal knee surgery, coping with your third chemotherapy treatment, or struggling with any other crummy life event, like grief.

(You know those times when showering, dressing, sitting up, and talking feel like a marathon race; times when you’re just too exhausted and overwhelmed to figure out what to do next?)

These are the wonderful visitors that call about a visit and warm your heart with words such as, “And I’ll bring the treats – we’ll make tea together.” How brilliantly kind is that?

Here are a few other truly sensitive and generous lines:

 “How about I pick you up and we go out for coffee and a short visit?”  (true life email)

“I made some soup that I’d like to bring over. Are you up for a 10 minute visit sometime today or tomorrow?” (true life phone call)

“I stopped by the bakery and got you a chocolate croissant - I’m leaving it in the mailbox. I’ll call you later.”(true life phone message)

Okay the last one is all about the chocolate, not a visit, but it beats junk mail by a long shot.

What's that one easy step to being a kind visitor to someone who needs encouragement, distraction, or some semblance of normality in their life right now?

 Take food.

When you go to visit, consider taking something to share, be it fruit, cheese and crackers, baked goods, sandwiches, whatever, and let your friend know ahead of time.

Some of the nicest people bring frozen soups and other meals that can be nuked in the microwave on the roughest days.

It’s kind. Really kind.

You certainly won’t be empty handed if you arrive for a visit with  Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies.

They freeze well for times when a cookie is the perfect comfort food, or unexpected visitors arrive.

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 cup butter

¼ cup white sugar

¾ cup brown sugar

1 tsp vanilla
1-2 eggs

1 tsp baking soda

½ cup boiling water

2 cups large flake rolled oats

½ tsp salt

1 ½ cups all-purpose flour

1 cup chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 °F.

Beat the first 5 ingredients until light and fluffy. Mix baking soda and boiling water together; add to mixture. Blend in rolled oats, salt, flour, and the chocolate chips. Drop by teaspoon onto a greased cookie sheet, 2 inches apart, and flatten slightly with a fork dipped in cold water.

Bake for 10 – 12 minutes. Cool on a wire rack.

I don't have a picture of these cookies because I did just have chemo #3 of 6 and I am kind of pooped.

However, here is a gorgeous photo of a dragonfly that reminds me how it feels holding on to the kindness extended to me by my neighbour Kelly who brought fresh raspberries she picked from our other neighbour's patch! I am so lucky to live on our little crescent!

Thank you Lois Ferguson Woody for sharing your spectacular gift of photography!

By the way, I once took a can of chicken noodle soup as a hostess gift - don't tell my Ukrainian mom.

Warmly
Wendy